Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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