I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
