Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
