Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
two words...techno handjob
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
