i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
