yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
