yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
