Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
