I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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