I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
