Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
