i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
