we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
