i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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