This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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