Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
