It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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