hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Me too!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
