i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
