they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
