I think i peed on brittanys purse
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
