Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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