i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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