i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
