Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
