evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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