We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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