Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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