WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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