i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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