please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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