We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
