I got chris browned last night
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
