btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
