Ambien. No doubt about it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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