i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
