never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
