I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
