I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
