if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
