That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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