She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
