so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
