whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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