It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
