Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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