Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i dont even know how to be here
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i came on her dog
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
