I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
