I just pynch a tree in the face
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
