Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
