im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
