Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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